Humble Warrior

This month, I took my daughter’s 5th grade girl scout troop camping and hiking. These girls are wild ones, and they inspire me to unleash my own spirit of adventure and unbridled curiosity. They are uninhibited in their excitement for peeing in the woods. They are risk-takers who beg me to purchase seasoned crickets at the nature center and challenge each other to eat them. They explore with boundless curiosity and joy. They are unfazed by the mud and the mess. They leave no boulder or tree unclimbed, and they stop and marvel at every discovery during our hikes. And just like every other experience where I offer my leadership, I find that there are always lessons that are specifically designed for me to receive.

I love guiding them toward empowerment and independence with girl-power energy. It’s easy to let them be the trailblazing leaders and let go of my expectations of my pre-determined itinerary when I’m with them.

But on this weekend, I experienced a challenge I didn’t anticipate.

Our camping site was positioned adjacent to two boy scout troops’ sites. When we arrived, one of the boy scout troop leaders walked over to our site and asked if we needed any help setting up our site.

I felt a pull in my gut and an irritation surge throughout my body.

I resisted the urge to respond, “Actually, I was wondering if YOU needed any help?”

Instead, I declined his offer, and we went about our day.

Later that evening, he returned again, offering that one of his boys found a wallet that a friend of mine had misplaced.

I sat with my thoughts all night, and I arrived with this question: what do I really want to model here - for these girls, and for myself?

I knew the resistance I was experiencing was my own ego and pride - which is exactly the obstacle that stands in my way of receiving help, love, and abundance.

I knew that I was applying a story from past experiences that may or may not have been true in this given situation.

The next morning, I walked over to their site to thank them for the returned wallet, and shared a few conversations about scouting and camping. They offered me a cup of coffee from their campfire kettle. And while I had my own coffee system available to me at my site, I pushed through my pride and graciously accepted their offer. It tasted like the caffeinated crow that I didn’t want and needed more.

Turns out when your heart has been burned by unmet expectations, dejected by disappointments, or mansplained by misogynists, pride becomes an easily accessible defense mechanism for protecting it. I have experienced growth in allowing 10 year old girls to lead me and share what they learn. But my interaction with these men brought up some old stories that I realized no longer served me.

What did I want to model for my girls - and for myself?

I wanted to model leading my life with competence, confidence, and independence.

I wanted to model an open heart and mind for receiving love and new ideas.

I wanted to model the ability to give generously, and to receive abundance.

I want this for me, for you, and for generations that follow.

We just have to get out of our own way.

For me, pride is a fallen tree trunk that presents itself on my trail, over and over again, requiring me to maneuver around and through. My favorite yoga pose is “humble warrior” for this very reason - to gather strength and courage to lean into that uncomfortable space where I find I am worthy of receiving.

How do you move through blocks that get in the way of receiving help and love from others?