Lost I.D.

Last week I packed up my four “little” ones and headed south for some Florida sun. We left on St. Patrick’s Day with hearts full of gratitude for our lucky plans to spend time with grandparents and with each other.

You can imagine my surprise when I discovered my luck seemingly fell short at arrival: I reached into my bag at the rental counter to realize my wallet was gone.

No I.D., no cash, no credit cards.

My mind raced to retrace my steps that day, but I ultimately came up short. I was officially unidentifiable and without currency for the week.

The silver lining of experiencing divorce is that chaos and crises don’t pack the same punch anymore. This was not my first rodeo with regards to letting go of my attachments. In divorce, I lost parts of my identity, and I lost various tangible possessions that I once assigned value to.

Divorce stripped me of my old ID cards, my name, and the identifier “married” I used to mark in checkboxes on forms requiring demographic information.

Divorce exposed me to analyze what I was worth - financially, socially, spiritually - outside the “portfolio” of my married life.

The fascinating part about the continued practice of letting go is this: I typically gain insight about whatever I am clinging to that doesn’t fully align with my authentic self. My lost wallet, as annoying as lost wallets can be, brought me back to a familiar place that allowed me to show up on vacation in a quasi- liberated way.

It reminded me to explore the parts of my identity that I might leave behind so that I could be fully present with myself, my parents, and my kids . . .

It prompted me to ponder what intrinsic currency I possess that offers value in this world and exchange in my relationships . . .

I did catch a lucky break: I happened to pack an expired ID in my luggage, and my parents were there to bail me out from my gaffe. I suppose I also received the unexpected ‘fortune’ of practicing humility in accepting their help (this is a gift for someone who typically struggles with pride).

I eventually re-established my identity and treasures that can’t be lost with a wallet. I settled in as my children’s mom, my parent’s daughter, and my authentic self.

By the end of the week, we were rich with treasured memories of our time spent together. Our pockets and hearts were filled with sun, sand, sea. And if that wasn’t enough to create a metaphorical pot of gold, the universe sent a rainbow to seal it with an Irish kiss.

How do you practice reconnecting yourself with your authentic identity?

What treasures do you inherently possess or exchange as your currency?

With lots of love and a little luck,